I figured I’d post this now because I honestly have not clue when I’d get around to doing it otherwise. I forgot to post on Sunday because I was at a friend’s place and didn’t think about it. For that, I apologize, but you’ll get over it.

I just finished my last day of high school… Still feels funny to say that. For this website, that means two things: more activity (If I can beat the laziness bug) and more sporadic posting. This summer is going to be very eventful for me, so I might have to do away with the scheduled updates and go with the whenever-I-get-to-it kinda thing. We’ll see. Anyway, here is part 5.

Untitled Pt 5

So, my initial plan was to go to the library and read up on funky spirits and such. I was about a block away, walking on the side of the highway that ran through the town, when something caught my eye. On the bank of the ditch something moved. I didn’t know what it was at first, it could’ve been a snake. I stooped down, not caring to watch for the cars blazing by my head at speeds of over sixty miles an hour. I bent down to see, but it was still hard to tell what was lying there. I got brave and decided to touch it. Nothing. I waited a couple seconds and flipped it over.

I was immediately taken aback. It was a child! A baby no less! Why the hell would a baby be in the bottom of a ditch? What kind of person would do that? Fucking scum, that’s who. All these thoughts were running through my head, but the bigger issue was the fact that there was no way I was leaving this child here. I had no clue what I was going to do with it, but I figured anything I did would be better than leaving it to rot.

I was kinda far away from my house for walking, but I figured taking a cab wouldn’t be the best bet. Either the driver would think I was way too suspicious and report me to the men in blue, or, there was always the possibility of another joyride like the one I’d had the night before. I wasn’t taking my chances with either.

I reached down gently and picked it up, careful to make sure I supported its head and neck. Basic baby stuff, you know. Now, if I had anywhere near the intelligence I claim that I do, I could’ve seen everything coming. But, I guess I woke up and took some dumbass pills that morning because my dopey ass didn’t see a thing wrong with the fact that the baby made absolutely no sound after being woken up. Not one god damn peep. I’m sure things like “wow, he’s a heavy sleeper” or “damn, he must be really tired” popped into my head. I did graduate suma cum laude in college, I swear.

So I took this baby and started walking. It was a beautiful day out, the sun was shining and the birds were chirping. Fucking birds. If I haven’t mentioned before, I fucking hate birds. All they ever do is shit on your just-washed car, or, if you’re really lucky, on the top of your head. Plus they have beaks and stuff, and beaks piss me off.

It’s really getting hard to keep straight what I’ve told you already, and I’m definitely not re-reading what I already wrote. That’s for squares and authors. I don’t know why, but ever since this whole incident I haven’t been able to keep my thoughts straight. Sorry, I’ll try to do a better job from now on.

So blah, blah, sun shining birds chirping yeah, yeah, anyways. I didn’t exactly know how to take care of a baby. I hate kids and the growing up process, but I do have morals. I probably needed to get this little brat some food. I had no fucking clue what to buy, so I just walked into the grocery store and asked the cashier.

“Excuse me, ma’am, but my wife is outta town, and I need to get some food for our baby, but she usually does that stuff and I have no idea what to do. Can you help me?”

“Awwww! He’s so cute! What’s his name? Can I hold him? Then I’ll see what we can do about that baby formula.”

Fuck. I didn’t even think to “name” the damn thing before I walked into the store. But, as far as I was concerned, this broad could hold the thing for as long as she liked. In fact, if it took a shit while she was holding it, I wouldn’t even have to change the diaper. Which is a good thing, because I don’t know how.

“Uhh…” I stammered. “His name is Baxter, and yes you can hold him, but please try not to wake him up. He’s a pretty heavy sleeper, but—“

By that time he was already out of my hands and into hers. She rocked him back and forth for a while, and whispered at him in her “teenage girl with down syndrome” voice.

“Hey, little Baxter. Das a good boy, yes him is. Him’s a good boy.”

Now that I heard her say it, I felt like an idiot. What the hell kinda name is Baxter? Like, what? Maybe I really did take some dumbass pills that morning. If I ever (god forbid) have a real kid, I’m gonna name him something cool, like Chuck. Chuck the badass. You know, something manly, unlike Baxter.

Her idiocy lasted for a little longer, but then she handed him back to me and we went on our trek. I found out a lot about her in that short time span. Her name was Darlene, and she was a grad student. She had a nice ass and big enough tits. She was working 2 jobs to put herself through college, and she was single. Her parents were divorced and she hated her dad. All pluses. Maybe after this whole fake baby shit, I decided, I would hit her up.

I walked out of the store carrying a helluva lot more than I had gone in with. Aside from the kid, I now had diapers, baby food, baby wipes, and boatloads of other crap I didn’t need. All the while, that god damn baby still hadn’t woken up. It just carried on, softly breathing and all, until I got home.

I walked into my house, messy as ever… and still with a dead body on the bed. I remembered what I’d told Sam, and it was well past the 20 minute window in which I was supposed to be back at his house. I got out my phone and called him.

“Hey, man. I ran into some trouble… Just bring the stuff you got over to my place and we’ll go from there. I’ll do the research on the internet. Just hurry up, and I’ll see you in a few.” He said he would.

I went into my bedroom, and sat the baby on the bed, in the corner away from the dead guy. It was the only place I could put him, and I figured that even if he woke up, he wouldn’t understand what was right next to him, so it would be ok.

I went into my office room to start my research. I found some pretty weird stuff on there. Things about demons, and spirits, and the differences between them. Stuff about life, death, and afterlives. I looked into ancient ceremonies. I even stumbled across a fetish site for “paranormal partners.”

I was in that room for about half an hour when I heard something. I couldn’t pinpoint the sound, so I thought it was probably just Sam using my spare key to get in. I walked to the door to greet him, but no one was there. I decided the baby must’ve woken up and would need some food. I went to the kitchen, read the directions, and made some. It is some of the worst-smelling stuff I’ve ever smelled in my life. It’s no wonder why most couple choose breast feeding initially, baby food is just a pain in the ass.

I quietly walked into my bedroom, to make sure he wasn’t still asleep. What I saw next still fucks with me to this day. I immediately dropped the baby food, and it clattered to the floor. The dead man? His body was gone. There wasn’t a fucking trace. Even the blood was gone, save a few splatters on the wall. And the baby? Well, he was awake. Awake and sitting up, clapping and smiling, happy as can be.

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This installment is the last in the story that I had written junior year. I will now take over and finish the story in later posts with better writing. We’ll see where this goes, but I’m excited! It may take me a couple tries to get the voice back, but I’ll find it eventually. Thanks for reading and make sure you follow my blog so you never miss a post!