We’re at the tail end of October, so it’s only fitting that the most prolific writer of scary stories this world has ever seen should have a new novel out. Stephen King has graced us with a second book this year, and just in time for us to read in between trips to the door to give candy to trick-or-treaters. The book is called Elevation, and there’s a good chance you’ll finish it before the final goblins show up on your porch for last call–it stands in at a whopping 146 pages, and even that amount is only made feasible due to the small physical dimensions. As others have said, this “novel” would probably have been better served in a collection of novellas a la Different Seasons, but beggars can’t be choosers, and we should just be happy King gave us something new to sink our teeth into–if you can call it that. You know, cause the book is short. Continue reading
Writing
The Future of Book Reviews on this Website
Hello, friend, family member, or poor soul who got lost on the internet and accidentally stumbled upon my small corner of weirdness.
I’ve got an update post. I’ll try to keep it short and sweet, but if you’ve been reading my work for any amount of time, you know that I often struggle with being concise. I ramble a lot.
I first started this blog back in 2014 with the intention of putting myself out there as a writer. Since then, I’ve written a couple a few random posts about my life, a narrative capturing of the time I met a famous dude, a satire piece that sent my school up in arms for a week, and a (largely) still relevant post about the Colin Kaepernick-national anthem controversy that gained a surprising amount of traction. The thing I’ve written the most, though, are book reviews. I enjoy doing them, and they give me a chance to practice writing in response to the things I read, which is great for honing my craft.
For the most part, these reviews have taken a rather personal tone. I haven’t chosen to stick with any particular format, and I’ve interjected my daily life into almost all of them. This has resulted in reviews that are too large in content and not as professional as they should be. Along with my many literary endeavors, (writing, attaining a Ph.D. in English, and reading a ton), I also aspire to be a book critic. I don’t necessarily want to make this a full-time job, though I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t jump at the first website to offer me a gig in that vein. However, if I want to make any sort of money or garner any semblance of a consistent readership, I know I’ve got to change a few things, and that starts today.
I’m sorry if you did like the personal anecdotes and interjections. They are now a thing of the past. I can’t expect to be taken seriously by any publication if I continue to waste hundreds of words explaining connections I have to certain books or why I put off reading them for so long. I have to learn how to be straight to the point and spend all my time discussing what works and what doesn’t. I need to find the way I like to speak about novels and repeat the formula consistently. Only then will I have achieved a book review’s purpose: to tell you if it’s worth a damn or not.
Starting with my next review, (Markus Zusak’s The Book Thief) I’ll be completely overhauling the way I’ve done things in favor of something more streamlined and repeatable. I’ll be spending the next few days scouring the annals of The New York Times and The New Yorker trying to get a feel for the stylistic demands of the craft. I got pretty good at doing this for films when I was in college, so it shouldn’t be too difficult of a transition.
Suffice it all to say that any review from this point forward will be my attempt at emulating anything that you might see from professional places online or in a magazine. They’ll still have my voice and idiosyncrasies, but hopefully I’ll be able to provide better content–quick reads that allow you to make a decision. I’ll also be sticking to more current works for the most part, because it probably doesn’t do you any good to read my thoughts on a book that came out 50 years ago. I’m a subscriber of The Book of the Month club, so I’ll be putting out a review of my selections as I finish them. I’m hoping that recency will be on my side and I can gain some real traction. I probably should have done this a while ago, but, then again, I probably should have finished my novel by now, too. I’m slow to adapt.
If you liked my old stuff, I’d encourage you to stick around for this new wave. I’m excited and chomping at the bit, and I think it’ll translate into my work. If this doesn’t sound like your thing, I’m sure I’ll still have content from time to time that you’ll find enjoyable. Either way, thanks for reading anything I’ve posted on here over the years. I appreciate every ‘like’, ‘click,’ and ‘comment’ I’ve ever gotten. You guys rock.
-ELM
How I Re-fell in Love with Writing
Ok, now that I have the Kaepernick thing out of the way, I can get back to my other work, which was my plan all along. (However, I do want to say a quick thank you to everyone who read that article, whether you agreed with it or not. We broke 100 views in 24 hours, which has only been done like two other times in the history of this website. So thanks.)
For those of you that read everything I post, you’ll know I recently started a fitness website. It launched in June, and so far I have a stream of about 20 dedicated readers that habitually click on whatever I put out. Shouts to you guys. For those of you that like my other work (ie the stuff that infrequently appears on this website) I’ve been inactive for a really long time. The reason for that is a simple, yet important one: I was disenchanted with the idea of becoming an author. I found myself thinking less and less about my career as a fiction writer, and more and more about pursuing a career as a personal trainer and fitness “expert.” My passion switched from writing made up things to analyzing scientific research and learning about the best ways to build muscle. Which would have been fine, if I didn’t quickly become disenchanted with that. Continue reading
In Defense of Colin Kaepernick
I really didn’t want to have to do this.
I mean, really didn’t want to have to do this.
I was actually in the middle of writing a very important post for this site, one that would have been the first in a few months. I’d rather be finishing that up. But instead, I find myself talking about the latest thing that has America’s panties in a bunch, Mr. Colin Kaepernick and his decision not to stand during the National Anthem.
2016
Sometimes I do this thing where I completely forget a have a website. Other times I remember it, but I have nothing of note to say, so I don’t say anything. This was a combination of those times, but it doesn’t really matter cause I’ve been away for a while regardless.
When I last left you wonderful people, Continue reading
I’m not Actually Very Well-Read, and I Hate Myself For It
I remember the day my mom told me a family friend of ours was opening up a used bookstore in our hometown.
“It’s called Shabby Pages. It’s going to sell mainly used books, and right now they’re only accepting donations, but I think later on you’ll be able to trade in for store credit.”
This information made seventh-grade Eric pretty happy. Not only could I stop begging my mom to make the 25 minute drive to Barnes and Noble, but I could also get books for hella cheap. At the same time, though, I was a little iffy on the whole thing because I had this aversion to buying used books, specifically paperbacks. If I didn’t put the creases in the spine, the book was no good. I was the only one who could damage my shit.
A couple weeks passed and we visited the store. It wasn’t too big, probably less than a quarter of the size of a typical chain store, but the walls were lined with books. Since the store was just starting out, the owner got her hands on pretty much whatever she could and sold it. As I walked around the store, I saw so many unfamiliar names that I was disappointed. Where was D.J. MacHale (my favorite author at the time, who wrote the ever-so-wonderful Pendragon series)? Dan Gutman? Eoin Colfer? Of course, the reason I didn’t know any names is because up until that point in my life I had been reading YA. That changed before I walked out of the store. Continue reading
Good news! (FREE STUFF!)
Hey, everybody! Sorry about the lack of posting on here recently, but I’ve been working very hard on some projects, and one of them is ready! The other day, I published my first short story on Amazon.
It’s called Just a Thing, and it’s the story of a boy trying to cope with his mother’s death. He makes some pretty questionable decisions, and he winds up in some pretty big trouble. The story itself is roughly 14 pages long and is available for all E-reading devices for 99 cents. I put a lot of work into this (and I mean a lot) and I’m pretty proud of it. Here’s the link.
BUT WAIT!
I’ve made the book free for five days. Starting tomorrow, you can download the book, absolutely free of charge. That way, if you hate it, you don’t have to feel like you wasted your hard-earned money. Of course, if you want to be super-cool, you could pay the dollar now and support me 😉 But no, really, just get it for free. The promo ends on the 5th of September, and I’m never making it free again, so get it while ya can.
I’ll love you forever if you’ll leave an honest review. Anyway, click the link and check out the cover and what not, and make sure you check back in tomorrow and pick it up! I would’ve waited to post this, but honestly I’m just so excited right now that I had to tell someone. This is step number one in my career, and I hope at least some of you will start the climb with me.
Don’t forget. 9/1/15-9/5/15. Free stuff. Can’t beat it.
Have a good day; mine’s already been terrific.
The Top 5: Books I’ve Ever Read
The topic of this post has changed so much in the last three days that you wouldn’t believe me if I told you my original intentions for it. I know it’s been a while, but I DID actually have something planned between these posts, but it fell through. I was going to post a review of Finders Keepers to follow up on my Mr. Mercedes one, but I was in the midst of writing it and got called into work. I lost all my mojo and didn’t get it done until it was too late to be relevant. (If you guys do want to know my thoughts, leave a comment and I’ll post the review anyway, but otherwise I plan on letting it rot in the draft pile.
The other day, I was screwing around on the Internet when I realized just how long it’d been since my last post. That’s a no-no. So, last night I decided I wanted to do another The Top 5 list. (Way back in the day I posted this, said I’d be doing them quite frequently, and never did.) At first I thought it was going to be my top 5 favorite classic novels. I got halfway through the draft before I realized that I was narrowing the parameters too soon. In the end, (and after much more deliberation that I’m not even going to begin to get into) I decided to go to something very basic. Today, I’ll be taking you through my top 5 favorite books of all time. It’ll set a good foundation for future lists, and it’ll help you learn a little about me and the way I work at the same time.
*Be warned. I’m not what most people would consider “well-read.” I’ve pretty much been reading the same five or so authors since 7th grade. With that said, this list does happen to contain enough variety to keep you interested (I hope). In descending order, here are my Top 5 favorite books of all time. Continue reading
The Struggles of Being a Writer Who Doesn’t Actually Write All That Much
“So how’s the book coming?”
“What?” I thought I’d heard the words right, but I needed time to formulate an acceptable response. I was busy stocking the shelves at the store I work at in the summers, and my manager, innocently enough, asked how my writing was going, as she remembered that I wanted to be an author from my time there last summer.
“Uh… Not as well as I’d like, but it’ll get there.”
That seemed to jump around the question well enough, and the conversation moved elsewhere. But my mind didn’t. Continue reading
I Went Without a Phone for Roughly Six Days, and Here’s What I Learned
“The insurance company should be calling you sometime tonight, and they’ll ship the replacement phone in the morning. You should have it by Tuesday.” The lady at Verizon Wireless looked at me, sounding all too annoyed by the situation. She wasn’t the only one. As I’d find out in the coming days, you don’t know how good you have it until it’s gone. You also don’t know you have a problem until you have to confront it directly. Continue reading